16March

160308
Is the most happy day i ever have in my life
You know why?
Because today you agreed to be my babe
Because today you agreed to be my beloved
But due to my own problem
But due to my own problem
Make me lose chance to keep be with you anymore
But i still very love and care you no matter what going to happen to us
160309
Is the worst day i ever have in my life
You know why?
Because today we already breakup
Because i can't celebrate our 1st year anniversary togather
Because i can't have chance to love and care you anymore
Im so sorry to you due to what had happen to us
Im so sorry because im so useless because i can't even manage and hold a relationship that i care the most
Im so sorry because im so useless because i can't even manage and hold a relationship that i love the most
Im so sorry because im so useless because i can't even manage and hold a relationship that i treassure the most
I really still very love you no matter how
Now i really so disappointed after what we talk yesterday
You told me he treat you not bad
You told me he never rise his voice on you
You told me you already love him as much as you love me before
Im now totally no more dream for me to move forward
Im now totally disappoited with my life
Im now totally disappoited with my love
Im now don't want easy to trust anybody more else
Im now don't want easy to trust any love more else
Because for me you are everything
You forever important in my heart
You forever my babe in my heart
Nobody else will ever ever have chance to replace your position
Never Never Never
My love and care to you i will forever in my heart
My love and care to you i will forever in my mind
This is because i do really love and care you
I won't love and care any others for rest of my life

Im now so desperate
Im now so upset
Im now so down
Im now so hurt
Im now so sad
Im now so disappointed
Im now choose to drunk myself
I never get drunk before
But today i drink a lot of beer untill drunk
I really don't wish to think much anymore
Because the more i think you
The more i will be hurt
Because the more i love you
You will never know
Because the more i care you
You will never feel
Not for any reason
Because you already give up me
Because you already put me down
Because you already don't care our love anymore
Because you already don't love me anymore
Because you already don't care me anymore

Today is our 1st year anniversay
I keep stick to my plan to give you present
Because i already think to give you this right after your birthday
Because i wish to make you happy there
Because it is a meaningful present even just a normal thing
I choose to give you a bear to your office
I named it as Ahlui
Because i gave you one Ahzai before
You know why i choose to name Ahzai and Ahlui
You know why i want to give you Ahlui
Because Ahzai+Ahlui=GOOD
女+子=好
I hope our relationship forever ever good
I hope our relationship forever ever sweet
I really wish to be with you forever ever
The another reason i named them as Ahzai and Ahlui
Because i wish to have a complete family with you
Because i wish to have a son and daughter with you
You know i don't like to have kid
But you had change my mind
I really wish to have two kids with you after we marry
I know you love kids also
Just don't want to have more
So i change myself
Try to have more time with baby
Try to have more time with kid
I feel so relax and happy with them

Im happy because you like Ahlui
Im happy because you appreciate it
But im sorry
Because i know you mother sure will nag and scold you for the present again
Hope Ahzai and Ahlui can accompany mummy more
Hope Ahzai and Ahlui can care mummy more
Hope Ahzai and Ahlui can love mummy more
Because they know daddy already not with mummy
Because they know they are assign by daddy to keep be good to mummy
Because they know daddy still very love and care mummy
Because they know daddy still wish to be with mummy again
Not just for short while but is forever ever
Just let our children to be with you forever ever
I will be ok to be single and alone here
Im really ok...
Even how i feel also no need you worry
You just promise me to be good there
You just promise me to take care there
All of that already more than enough
I really will be fine even my heart always be with you

You message me when your break time
Im have class that moment
Im so upset that moment
I really wish to scream
But i know i must control my emotion
Nomatter how suffer and sad also i must control
Nomatter how suffer and sad also i can't drop any single of my tears anymore
Because i already promise you before
But im still message you back in normal
I just wish to pretend stong and brave
I really don't want to suffer you anymore
I really don't want to hurt you anymore
I really don't want you so worry me anymore
I really don't want you so care me anymore
No need to thanks me
Because all is is my suprise to you
Because i just want you to be happy

I feel it is so meaningless for me give you Ahlui
But you say it is still meaningful for you because you take it as our 1st year anniversary present
Not your wrong to give up our love so easy
Because i really not a good guy
Never treat you good
Never care your feeling
Even im love and care you
But i don't know how to maintain our love
Im just a useless and lousy guy
I never blame you for everything
I really don't angry and blame you
You know i will never do so to you nomatter what you do to me
Not your fault to change your heart to love him
I know all is my wrong because i don't treat you as good as he did to you
Somemore is i who encourage you to go out more with your friends
Because i know you are so lonely there to be alone
Because i know i can't keep accompany you when you need me
So i ask you to go out when you want
I never control you go out or know any new friend
Because it is your freedom to do anything you want
Even after i marry with you also i have no right to control you
But i let you control me anything as you like
Because i just want to make you be secure when be with me
Even i will break some of my promise
But i keep remind myself to bare to my promise and responsibilty
Because i love you the most
Because i care you the most
But now already too late for everything
Bacause now our love already end
Because now i already being replace by him
I wish you both ok there
I wish he really serious to you
I wish he know how to care you more
I wish he know how to love you more
I wish he know how to take care you
I really scared you being hurt or sick
Because i will pain more than anyone
Because i will worry than anyone

I just want you know my heart forever belong to yours
I just want you know that i love you forever
I just want you know that i care you forever

Is end of the story
I can't keep continue for anything more
Because i know i already have no more chance
Because i know how i love and care you also will never change the fact

I now really need to rest
Im now really feel so tired
Somemore im so dizzy now after drunk
I never drunk before
This is 1st time i drunk
Maybe im too upset and sad
Nomatter how dizzy im also i must finish the blog by now
I will put you down
But doen't mean i don't love and care you anymore
But doesn't mean i forget you
I will remember you forever
I will love you and care you forever ever
Just i really need time to recover and calm myself down
And i will never have any other more girls in my life
I prefer to be single if i can't get you back
It is worth for meto do all of this
Because you are so important
I will never regret on what decision i had make
I really feel you are worth for me to do anything
Even you want me to die also i can make it for you
Maybe im crazy and stupid
But is worth for me to do all this to someone i love the most

The last but not the least
Kelvin love vincy forever ever
How also will never change